shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
