Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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