I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
