i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
