I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
