I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
