The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I want a musical about memes.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
