i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
