my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
