He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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