just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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