i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
