Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
