Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
