She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
