I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize