literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
