So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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