Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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