You don't have asthma, your pregnant
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
