Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
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