I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
