I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
