we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
