and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
