So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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