im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
