I cockslap morals
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
