I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
