Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
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It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
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These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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