So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
