kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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