in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize