dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize