I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
