Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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