so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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