I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
