He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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