Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
