The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
