i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
