the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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