its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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