Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
