Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
