Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
