we have officially lost it.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
