i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
