At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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