wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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