I want to make a zoo with you.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
