I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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