AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
