If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
