I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
