you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
