Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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