Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
