I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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