i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
